Tell me how it ends pdf download

'The first must-read book of the

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1\-. VALERIA
VALERIA
LUISELLI
LUISELLI
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United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London, SE1 9GF
http: //rushbrookrathbone.co.uk

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About the Authors About the Publisher

Valeria Luiselli was born in Mexico City in Australia

and grew up in South Africa. A novelist (Faces in the HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
Crowd and The Story of My Teeth) and essayist Level 13, Elizabeth Street
(Sidewalks), her work has been translated into many Sydney, NSW , Australia
languages. In , Faces in the Crowd was the htt//rushbrookrathbone.co.uk
recipient of the Los Angeles Times Art Seidenbaum
Award for First Fiction and the National Book Canada
Foundation's 5 Under 35 award. The Story of My HarperCollins Canada
Teeth was a finalist for the National Book Critics 2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor
Circle Award and won the Los Angeles Times Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada
Prize for Best Fiction. htt //rushbrookrathbone.co.uk

Jon Lee Anderson is a staff writer for the New New Zealand
Yorker magazine. His books include Che Guevara: A HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited
Revolutionary Life, Guerrillas: Stories from the P.O. Box 1
Insurgent World, and The Fall of Baghdad. Anderson Auckland, New Zealand
began his reporting career in , in Peru. He 1s htt//rushbrookrathbone.co.uk
currently working on a biography of Fidel Castro.

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Natalia Gomez Quintero, "Mexico deporta mil Keep Young Immigrants Out of Long Island
migrantes en ," El Universal, February 12, Classrooms," New York Times, October 21,

A briej,rushbrookrathbone.co.uklarly disconcerting, article in the New

York Times in October postulated a series of
questions and rapid responses about the child
migrants from Central America. Source: Haeyoun
Park, "Children at the Border," New York Times,
October 21,

Many school districts have reacted by creating more

obstacles for newcomers. One of those districts is
New York's Nassau County, which has the fifth­
largest population of migrant children in the country.
Source: Sarah Pierce, "Unaccompanied Child
Migrants in u.s. Communities, Immigration Court, and
Schools," Migration Policy Institute, October

In the summer of the New York State Education

Department held a compliance review and in the end
determined that no public school was allowed to ask
students for immigration documents of any type.
Sources: Benjamin Mueller, "Immigrants' School
Cases Spur Enrollment Review in New York," New
York Times, October 22, , and "Requirements
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American law guarantees to persons accused of President Enrique Pefia Nieto, the Mexican
crimes. Source: In an e-mail, immigration lawyer government introduced its new anti-immigration
Rebecca Sosa explains, "There is no right to legal plan, the Programa Frontera Sur. Sources:
representation in the immigration context because it "Assessing the Alarming Impact of Mexico's Southern
is a civil proceeding, and the rights to counsel Border Program," Washington Office on Latin
protections present in the criminal context do not America, May 28, ; "Asi Planea Mexico domar a
apply. All immigrants seeking immigration benefits or la bestia," La Tribuna, September 6, ; Joseph
defending their cases have a right to obtain counsel at Sorrentino, "How the u.s. 'Solved' the Central
no expense to the u.s. government, meaning they have American Migrant Crisis," In These Times, May 12,
to find and pay for their own attorney or find an ; "Programa Frontera Sur: Una Caceria de
attorney who will work for free. Also, some Migrantes," Animal Politico/crnE.
undocumented immigrants are eligible for some
limited health care benefits, but only until they reach the State Denartment has paid the Mexican
age " government tens of millions of dollars to filter the
migration of Central Americans. Source: Sonia
Miguel Hernandez has a poem called "Elegy" about Nazario, "Outsourcing a Refugee Crisis: u.s. Paid
the death of a childhood friend. Source: Miguel Mexico Millions to Target Central Americans Fleeing
Hernandez, The Selected Poems ofMiguel Hernandez, Violence," Democracy Now, October 13,
edited and translated by Ted Genoways (Chicago:
University of Chicago Press, ). since fPefia Nieto] has deported more Central
Americans each year than the United States, more
Shortly_rushbrookrathbone.co.uk the unaccomnanied child migrant crisis than , in Sources: "Mexico Now Detains
was declared in the United States, and after a More Central American Migrants than the u.s.,"
meeting between President Barack Obama and Washington Office on Latin America, June 11, ;

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The process is exceedingly complicated. In an e­ special findings, he or she can file a petition with users
mail, immigration lawyer Careen Shannon outlined it seeking srJ status. If users approves the petition, the
briefly as follows: "First the child appears at a hearing child still doesn't have legal immigration status of any
in immigration court, admits to the government's sort: all the child has is approval to apply for
allegations that he or she is removable from the permanent residence on the basis of having fulfilled
United States, and then asks for a 'continuance' of the the legal criteria for special immigrant juvenile status.
removal proceeding for the purpose of securing The removal proceeding is still active, so the child has
'special findings' in family court (or juvenile or to go back to immigration court with evidence that he
probate court, depending on the state). The child's or she has been approved for srJ status and ask the
proposed guardian must then go to family court and court to terminate the removal proceeding. Then, with
seek an order of custody or guardianship over the evidence of both the srJ status approval and the
child, and must also ask the court to issue the special termination of the removal proceeding, the child can
findings, which must state (1) that the court declares apply to users for adjustment of status to permanent
the child dependent on the court, or legally commits residence."
or places the child under the custody of either a state
agency or department or an individual or entity the majorityiJf_ children who find a lawyer do
appointed by a juvenile court or other state court; (2) appear in court and are granted some form of relief
that reunification with one or both of the child's All the others are deported, either in absentia or in
parents is not viable due to abuse, neglect, person. Sarah Pierce, "Unaccompanied Child
abandonment, or a similar basis under state law; and Migrants in u.s. Communities, Immigration Court, and
(3) that it would not be in the child's best interest to Schools," Migration Policy Institute, October
be returned to his or her country of nationality or
Because immigration court is a civil court, these child
country of last habitual residence.
"aliens" are not entitled to the free legal counsel that
"Once the child has secured the order and the
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In Mexico's new immigration law, approved in deported under this procedure. According to the u.s.
after the slaughter of the seventy-two migrants in Government Accountability Office, "Data and a
Tamaulipas, there is a similar clause guaranteeing the random sample of case files from fiscal year
right to a visa when a migrant is a victim of or witness found that CBP repatriated about 93 percent of
to a crime. But even now it remains unclear in what Mexican UAC under age 14 from fiscal years
way this clause has been implemented. Source: through without documenting the basis for
Immigration Law, section V, article 52, as published in decisions." Source: Unaccompanied Alien Children:
the Diario Oficial de la Federaci6n, May 25, , and Actions Needed to Ensure Children Receive Required
amended April 21, Care in DHS Custody, GAo, July 14,

The states with the highest number of children And what is the charge? Fundamentally, that the
released to sponsors since the crisis was declared are child came to the United States without lawful
Texas (over 10, children), California (almost permission and is therefore "removable." Admitting
9, children), and New York (over 8, children). this charge alone leads to deportation unless the
Source: Sarah Pierce, "Unaccompanied Child child's attorney can find those potential avenues of
Migrants in u.s. Communities, Immigration Court, and relief that form a defense against it. Source: In an e­
Schools," Migration Policy Institute, October , p. mail exchange, immigration lawyer Rebecca Sosa
4. explained, "Although the formal charges are uniform,
a child's first hearing before the judge varies
The procedure by which Mexican children are depending on factors such as whether the child has an
deported in this way is called "voluntary return." attorney, and whether it is a case on the priority
And, as unbelievable as it may seem, voluntary docket, which the government has fast-tracked and
return is the most common verdict. Other than a imposed short deadlines to move the cases along
handful of lucky exceptions, all Mexican children are faster."

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registered since , the majority of which are still some organizations got together and decided to form
unidentified. Source: Gayatri Parameswaran and Felix an emergency coalition, called the Immigrant
Gaedtke, "Identifying Mexico's Many Dead along the Children Advocates' Relief Effort (ICARE). "In August
u.s. Border," Al Jazeera, March 17, , in response to the growing number of
unaccompanied minors crossing the u.s.'s southern
The Door-a Manhattan-based nonprofit that border, seven nonprofit legal service organizations
provides kids and teenagers with services ranging formed the ICARE Coalition. This coalition provides
from legal assistance to counseling to English and legal representation to the unaccompanied minors
hip-hop classes Several organizations give legal who are in removal proceedings before the New York
support to minor-aged migrants, and they trade off Immigration Court. The coalition includes the Legal
days in court. The Door, unlike most of the others, Aid Society, The Door, Catholic Charities, Central
offers services and support for young migrants that American Legal Assistance, Make the Road NewYork,
extend beyond the immigration process, from medical Safe Passage, and Kids in Need of Defense. Of these
and psychological support to English, film, and hip­ seven, three-the Legal Aid Society, Make the Road
hop classes and professional entertainment. NewYork, and The Door-rely on volunteers to ensure
that there are sufficient resources at court to assist all
Later, in the summer of , it became known that
children in need. Source: "Volunteer in NewYork City:
between April and August , more than
!CARE," Unaccompanied Children Resource Center,
1 02, unaccompanied children had been detained
httP-s: //www. rushbrookrathbone.co.uk,rggionalefforts/item.6
at the border. Source: Sarah Pierce, "Unaccompanied
Volunteer in New York Cizy..
Child Migrants in u.s. Communities, Immigration
Court, and Schools," Migration Policy Institute, For victims of_some crimes, real and horrible crimes,
October permission to stay in American territory is probably
insufficient recompense. But it's better than nothing.
In New York,J_or example, as early as August ,

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migrantes en Mexico, February 22, , p. Some are liminal, like the well-known case of a
sixteen-year-old boy on the Mexican side of the
some sources estimate that, since , around border who, in , was shot to death by an
, migrants have disappeared in their transit
American officer on the u.s. side who later claimed the
through Mexico. Source: Shaila Rosagel, "Muerte, boy and other people had thrown rocks at him.
trata, violaci6n el drama de migrantes en Mexico es Source (among others): Nigel Duara, "Family of
peor que el de Europa: ONGs," rushbrookrathbone.co.uk, Mexican Boy Killed by Border Patrol Agent Can Sue,
September 9, Judge Rules," Los Angeles Times, July 10,
On August 24, , the bodies of seventy-two We know,J_or instance, that civilian vigilantes and
Central and South American migrants were found, owners of private ranches go out to hunt
piled up in a mass grave, at a ranch in San Fernando, undocumented migrants, either as a matter of
Tamaulipas. Source (among others): Randal C. conviction or merely for sport. Source: The Custom
Archibold, "Victims of Massacre in Mexico Said to Be Map of Migrant Mortality found at
Migrants," New York Times, August 25, Among rushbrookrathbone.co.uk includes
the innumerable sources that reported this fact, it is name, location, and cause of death for deceased
worth highlighting the online "altar" compiled in migrants. The causes of death on private land as
by writer and reporter Alma Guillermoprieto, recorded by medical examiners often imply extreme
dedicated to the memory of the seventy-two, at violence: "blunt force trauma at the head,"
rushbrookrathbone.co.uk The objective of Guillermoprieto's "complications of multiple blunt force injuries,"
project was to gather as much information as possible "gunshot wounds of the head and torso."
about the assassinated migrants and to bring writers
and reporters in Mexico together to issue a collective At the forensic institute of Pima County, Arizona,
public protest. alone, more than 2, human remains have been

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the icebox is seventy-two hours, but children are Samaritans, though there may be others) leave gallon
often kept for longer, subject not only to the jugs along migrant paths, where migrants are much
inhumane conditions and frigid temperatures but more likely to find them. These gallons are regularly
also to verbal and physical mistreatment. Sources: A slashed by vigilantes and/or Border Patrol. In one
Guide to Children Arriving at the Border: Laws, instance Border Patrol was caught on video
Policies and Responses, American Immigration vandalizing a drop (htlJ.!s://www.y:rushbrookrathbone.co.uk?
Council, June 26, ; Cindy Carcamo, "Judge Blasts v=za Tmt9rSGI)."
ICE, Says Immigrant Children, Parents in Detention
Centers Should Be Released," Los Angeles Times, July Ra12es: eighty_Jl,ercent of the women and girls who
25,
cross Mexico to get to the u.s. border are raped on the
way. The situation is so common that most of them
we see a trail offlags that volunteer groups tie to take contraceptive precautions as they begin the
trees or fences, indicating that there are tanks filled journey north. Source: Erin Siegal McIntyre and
with water there for people to drink as they cross the Deborah Bonello, "Is Rape the Price to Pay for
desert. Source: In an e-mail exchange, translator Migrant Women Chasing the American Dream?"
Kevin Gerry Dunn, who has worked for volunteer Fusion, September 10,
groups, confirmed: "The water tanks with the flags are
left by a group called Humane Borders. I believe that Abductions: in , the National Human Rights
they have permission from the government to leave Commission in Mexico published a special report on
these tanks in designated spots. The problem is that immigrant abductions and kidnappings, revealing
they're big and unwieldy, so they have to be left near that the number of abduction victims between April
main roads, where migrants are much less likely to and September a period of just six months­
walk for fear of getting caught. Other groups (the two I was 11, Source: Comisi6n Nacional de Derechos
know of in Arizona are No More Deaths and Humanos, Informe especial sabre secuestro de

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[Michigan] that would house illegal juveniles to show the freight trains that cross Mexico, on top of
their dismay for the situation." . . . "Thelma and Don which as many as half a million Central American
Christie (C) of Tucson demonstrate against the migrants ride annually. Source: Rodrigo Dominguez
arrival of undocumented immigrants in Oracle, Villegas, "Central American Migrants and 'La Bestia':
Arizona. July 15, " Sources: Paul Ingram, The Route, Dangers, and Government Responses,"
"Arizona Town Protests Arrival of Undocumented Migration Policy Institute, September 10,
Migrant Kids," Reuters, July 15, Lindsay Knake,
"Protesters Carry AR Rifles, Flags in March against Thousands have died or been gravely injured aboard
Central American Teens Coming to Vassar," Michigan La Bestia, either because of the frequent derailments
Live (rushbrookrathbone.co.uk), July 15, of the old freight trains or because people fall off
during the night. Source: Padre Alejandro Solalinde et
As she rushbrookrathbone.co.uk his coffee, she tells him that hundreds of al., La Bestia (documentary), Miami: Venevision
migrant kids will be deported that same day back International,
to Honduras, or Mexico, or somewhere. Source
(among several): Associated Press, "Immigrants in In July ,jor examp.k., the American Immigration
New Mexico Deported to Central America," Lawyers Association (AILA) filed a complaint after
Washington Post, July 14, learning that in a detention center in Dilley, Texas,
children were mistakenly given adult-strength
"Looking haP-P-Y, the denorted children exited the hepatitis A vaccinations. Source: Wendy Feliz and
airport on an overcast and sweltering afternoon. One George Tzamaras, "Vaccine Overdose of Detained
by one, they filed into a bus, playing with balloons Children Another Sign that Family Detention Must
they had been given." Source: Gabriel Stargardter, End," American Immigration Council and American
"First u.s. Flight Deports Honduran Kids under Fast­ Immigration Lawyers Association, July 4,
Track Push," Reuters, July 15,
!1y law, the maximum time a person can remain in

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(the nation's leading immigration law firm) and a

member of the board of directors of Safe Passage
Project. For their insights, support, and enthusiasm I
want to give special thanks to Rebecca Sosa, Michael SOURCES
Vargas, Angela Hernandez, Nimmi Gowrinathan, and
Ana Puente, and to the following TIIAS at Hofstra
University: Meshack Eshun Addy, Leah Bursky, Beyond the interviews with children and their family
Lourdes Carballo, Alexi Cohan, Benjamin Cope, Cem members, for my research I used policy reports, fact
Gokhan, Debbie Gomez, Trey Jackson, Pauleen sheets, documentaries, and newspaper articles and
Samantha Jean-Louis, Brandon Jurewicz, Danielle had many e-mail exchanges. These are mentioned
Lewis, Amanda Moncada, Awilda Pena Luna, Jessica below in the order in which they appear and in
Simonelli, Claudia Steel, and Kaleigh Warner. relation to the sentence(s) in the text that they
support.

Nothing is clear in the initial coverage of the

situation-which soon becomes known, more widely,
as the Central American immigration crisis,
though others will advocate for the more accurate
term "refugee crisis." Source: Sonia Nazario, "The
Children of the Drug Wars: A Refugee Crisis, Not an
Immigration Crisis," New York Times, July 11,

"Protesters, some exercising their open-carry rights,

assemble outside of the Wolverine Center in Vassar

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sometimes. He told me he wanted his

real name to be disclosed in this book, so
he could send it to family and friends
back in Honduras. But, because he has ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
yet to apply for a green card, and times
are dire and volatile, immigration
lawyers we consulted thought it best to The stories told in this essay are true. All
maintain his anonymity. When I told names of the children I have interviewed in court, as
him this, he said, Okay, fine, no pasa well as specific facts about their biographical
nada. In the meantime, he said, he'll be information and that of their sponsors, have been
practicing the art of flight in his front changed in order to protect them. The dates of specific

-- -
yard in Hempstead: events and the order in which they may have occurred
� have also been modified for the same reason.
I wish to thank John Freeman, who encouraged me
to write this essay and published a shorter, earlier
version of it in the journal Freeman's. I want to thank
the following organizations and think tanks: The
Door, Safe Passage, rushbrookrathbone.co.ukG., the Migration Policy
Institute, the Politics of Sexual Violence Initiative, the
American Immigration Lawyers Association, and the
Teenage Immigrant Integration Association. For her
careful legal review, I thank Careen Shannon, a
partner at Fragomen, Del Rey, Bernsen & Loewy, LLP

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7) I know it'll take much more than the and defending an inclusive, egalitarian
meteoric enthusiasm of a bunch of country). There's another young man who
college kids to resist the dark years brings a skateboard to class and is half
ahead. But if I have been able to retain Colombian, half Turkish, and yet fully
some sanity, it's thanks to a handful of American at the same time, and he is
TIIAS organizing soccer matches and developing a complex plan to teach civil
English classes. I look forward to the rights and skateboarding to refugee
TIIAS and their generation. If we all teenagers. People ask him if he's Catholic or
manage to pull through in these next Muslim or what, and he says he doesn't know
years, it'll be thanks to young people but that maybe he'll be a writer or a
who are willing to give their minds and photographer one day. And there's a young
hearts and bodies to make changes. man who gently combs his right eyebrow
There is a young man in the TIIA who with his thumb and says, No Prof, nah-ah, we
immigrated from Ghana to Spain when he won't take it, we won't comply. And another
was little, and later became a soccer player, young woman who says, Prof, we gotta turn
and was then brought over to the u.s. because all our emotional shit into political capital,
of his skills, and now leads the TIIA soccer yo!
games-just because, just because he thinks
that's what's right. There's a young woman 8) Manu has SIJ status now. He has
who works many shifts to pay her tuition and found a church where he feels welcome,
has to explain to her boss that yes, she's and he has mentors at s.T.R.O.N.G. who
brown, and yes, she supports immigrant have helped him pull through. He's also
children, but that she's also a decent citizen, learning English with the TIIAS, and
and even patriotic (if patriotic means loving comes to play soccer on campus

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and talking about in abstract all this time the headphones he was wearing, and
would actually be riding in the back seat of then mumbled and stuttered a way-too­
my car one day. I'm proud of being part of emotional sentence about empathy and
this. social responsibility. In response, he
laughed loudly in my face. So I took a
5) The day Trump won the election, seat and opened a book, forcing myself
when I finally gathered enough will­ not to cry or look scared.
power to get out of bed, I put on that
"Refugees Welcome Here" T-shirt, made 6) When I arrived in the university and
myself a watery coffee, and left my house walked into a classroom later that day, I
-long strides down the street, Kendrick noticed my TIIA students there were
Lamar's song "Alright" playing on repeat wearing the same T-shirt I was:
on my headphones-feeling like I was "Refugees Welcome Here." And it was
ready for anything. I rode the A down to hard, at first, not to cry. Difficult not to
Penn Station to catch my train to Long expose my absolute fragility in front of
Island. When I walked into the train car, the group. But a few minutes later, they
the first thing I saw was a twenty­ were all raising their hands, and having
something-year-old man wearing a red crazy ideas, and making wild,
Make America et cetera cap. I felt a revolutionary plans to counter the
visceral urge to insult him or throw uncertainty that lay ahead of us. I sat on
something at him, but I did not. For the top of my professor's desk, cross-legged,
better or worse, my body is incapable of and listened, and smiled, and maybe
reacting aggressively. Instead, I walked even laughed with them.
over to him, shyly asked him to remove
 TELL ME HOW IT ENDS: AN ESSAY IN FORTY QUESTIONS

students prepared inspired speeches for arrived: a girl from Honduras and her
the protests that would take place on mother, a Salvadoran boy who was
campus the day of the debate. Looking dropped off by his uncle, a boy from
for ways to support them, I went online Honduras who arrived on public
and ordered them T-shirts that said transport from Hempstead. And, to my
"Refugees Welcome Here." Last minute, absolute joy, Manu-whom I'd been
I ordered one for myself, too, though I trying to contact for some time with little
never wear T-shirts. The TIIA members luck and had managed to reach. As we
that day were a riot. A beautiful, messy all walked toward the fields together, I
bunch. Throughout the day, they sent noticed hundreds of migrating birds
me SMS messages with pictures and flocking in the autumn sky above us. The
videos of their actions on campus. The strange yet beautiful irony of it. Once we
best picture was one of a student who reached the field, Manu was made
made a poster saying "Refugees captain of one team (and was visibly
Welcome Here" and stood behind a life­ proud of it). A TIIA student was made
size cardboard replica of a thumbs-up captain of the other. The final score was
Donald Trump.
When that TIIA soccer match was over, one
4) A few weeks later, the TIIA decided to student offered to drive Manu home and then
organize a soccer match and booked one take me to the station to catch my train back
of the better fields on campus for the to Manhattan. When we dropped Manu off in
game. In a rush, we all tried to recruit as front of his house in Hempstead, my student
many teenagers, recently arrived in told me something I won't forget: You know,
Hempstead, as possible. Only five people I never thought the kids we've been reading

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for example, a few months before the

election, I was standing in front of the
bathroom mirror in my Harlem
CODA apartment next to my six-year-old
daughter. We were playing with face
.(Eight Brief Postscrinta). paint: yellow stripes on my forehead,
green dots on hers, a blue spot on my
nose. At one point, she dug her index
finger into the miniature bucket of white
1) Now, it is the year , and I finally
paint, and as she spread it across her
have a green card, and the world is so
cheeks she said, "Look, Mamma, now
upside fucking down that Trump
I'm getting ready for when Trump is
somehow became president of the
president. So they won't know we're
United States, and President Enrique
Mexicans."
Pefia Nieto, in Mexico, restitched the
entire Mexican landscape-previously 3) Many of us are falling apart, and so, it
tattered-to turn it into a warm welcome seems, is everything good. Except a few
doormat for Trumpland. things. There's the TIIA, for example,
which, though still small, has become a
2) We should have predicted it, but we
fully active group. Its first public action
did not. I should have foreseen some of
took place on September 26, , the
it: I am a novelist, which means my
same day as the first presidential debate,
mind is trained to read the world as part
which, as it happened, was hosted on our
of a narrative plot, where some events
campus at Hofstra University. The TIIA
foreshadow others. One early morning,
 TELL ME HOW IT ENDS: AN ESSAY IN FORTY QUESTIONS

don't have an answer yet. Before coming to the United the daily battles. You will give everything. You will
States, I knew what others know: that the cruelty of its convince yourself that it is only a matter of time before
borders was only a thin crust, and that on the other you can be yourself again, in America, despite the
side a possible life was waiting. I understood, some added layers of its otherness already so well adhered
time after, that once you stay here long enough, you to your skin. But perhaps you will never want to be
begin to remember the place where you originally your former self again. There are too many things that
came from the way a backyard might look from a high ground you to this new life.
window in the deep of winter: a skeleton of the world, Why did you come here? I asked one little girl once.
a tract of abandonment, objects dead and obsolete. Because I wanted to arrive.
And once you're here, you're ready to give
everything, or almost everything, to stay and play a
part in the great theater of belonging. In the United
States, to stay is an end in itself and not a means: to
stay is the founding myth of this society. To stay in the
United States, you will unlearn the universal metric
system so you can buy a pound and a half of cooked
ham, accept that thirty-two degrees, and not zero, is
where the line falls that divides cold and freezing. You
might even begin to celebrate the pilgrims who
removed the alien Indians, and the veterans who
maybe killed other aliens, and the day of a president
who will eventually declare a war on all the other so­
called aliens. No matter the cost. No matter the cost of
the rent, and milk, and cigarettes. The humiliations,
 TELL ME HOW IT ENDS: AN ESSAY IN FORTY QUESTIONS

retrospectively, when many years have passed and the allowed to "volunteer" at a job where one was
story has ended. In the meantime, while the story previously paid while his or her papers are being
continues, the only thing to do is tell it over and over processed. United States immigration laws are
again as it develops, bifurcates, knots around itself. stringent; it would have been an act of total
And it must be told, because before anything can be irresponsibility to have tried to find a loophole,
understood, it has to be narrated many times, in many especially since it would have put my family's well­
different words and from many different angles, by being at risk.
many different minds. I wondered if I was "allowed" to write-writing is
I started writing this essay in late November of my work, after all. But of course I did write, and will
At the time, my niece was preparing to major in write, because it's what I can do. And I knew that if I
law, interning with The Door, and working at City did not write this particular story, it would not have
College for the Politics of Sexual Violence Research made sense to return to writing anything else.
Initiative, with one of the most lucid activists in the
area. My green card had still not arrived, and my Why did you come to the United States? Perhaps no
provisional work permit had expired the month one knows the real answer. I know that migrants,
before. I was not illegal, but it was illegal for me to when they are still on their way here, learn the
work in the United States. I had to resign temporarily Immigrant's Prayer. A friend who had been aboard La
from my teaching job just before the final exam Bestia for a few days, working on a documentary, read
period. I would have taken a spontaneous vacation, it to me once. I didn't learn the entire thing, but I
but leaving fifty college students without a teacher remember these lines: "Partir es morir un poco /
after spending an entire semester with them weighed Llegar nunca es llegar" -"To leave is to die a little / To
on me. I investigated further, asking several lawyers if arrive is never to arrive."
I could continue working without pay. The answer, I've had to ask so many children: Why did you
without a shade of ambiguity, was no: one is not come? Sometimes I ask myself the same question. I

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crisis started at the u.s.-Mexico border, in southern group. They want to partner with organizations such
Arizona or Texas, and then moved up all the way to as The Door, in Manhattan, and s.T.R.O.N.G., a nonprofit
the NY immigration court, and now there are children that focuses on teenagers in Long Island who are
and teenage migrants living in the most remote towns particularly vulnerable to falling into gangs.
of Long Island, it's not going to end there. The crisis It only takes a group of ten motivated students to
will deepen and spread, and things will fall apart, begin making a small difference. Between the ten of
unless all those kids find a way to become quickly and them, before my astonished-even disbelieving-eyes,
fully integrated. These kids have been through the they draft a constitution, appoint duties, and get the
worst. They arrive to find an unfamiliar country and a university's approval. Their organization is called TIIA
new language, but also a group of strangers that they -which plays on the Spanish "tia," or "aunt," and
must now call their family. They have to deal with stands for Teenage Immigrant Integration
family reunifications, interrupted education, Association.
acculturation, and trauma. The United States is a country full of holes, and
Because Long Island, and Nassau County in Hempstead in particular is a giant shithole, as Manu
particular, is so terribly deficient when it comes to says. But it's also a place full of individuals who, out of
public education and services, the private universities a sense of duty toward other people, perhaps, are
in the area have to offer some kind of sustained relief, willing to fill those holes in one by one. There are
my students say. We have the space here, the lawyers and activists who work tirelessly to help
resources, the classrooms, the football fields, and the communities that aren't their own; there are students
radio station. The solutions have to be simple and who, though not at all privileged, are willing to
concrete, they say. No "let's empower the migrants" dedicate their time to those even less privileged than
kind of empty jargon. There have to be intensive themselves.
English classes, college prep sessions, team sports, a
radio program, and a civil rights and duties discussion There are things that can only be understood

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themselves. But she tells me that Manu can no longer What is it? I ask, sure that they will boycott, or that
go unnoticed. For a while he was admitted to a school they will ask to leave early that day.
in Long Beach, but then they told him his English Well, you know how you brought in that professor
wasn't good enough and that he needed to take to talk to us?
language classes first. Other schools said he didn't Professor Gowrinathan?
meet the eligibility criteria, or that he's missing some Yes, that one.
document or another, or that there's simply no space: I remember, of course. Nimmi Gowrinathan came
They all tell me no, no, and no. to give us a lecture on the fundamentals of political
I ask her who "they" are. She's silent for a moment activism. She insisted that the most important thing
and then says: was to know how to transform emotional capital-the
Whoever answers the phone when I call a school. rage, sadness, and frustration produced by certain
So what happens next? I ask her. social circumstances-into political capital.
Yes, of course I remember that talk.
One October morning, my students come to class Well we know how to do it now. We don't want to be
particularly anxious. While I explain a table of voluntourists in our own town anymore. We want to
statistics on immigration patterns, they shuffle in their do something that matters.
seats, whisper to each other, look around the What do you mean? I ask.
classroom and out the window. I stop class and ask Together, they explain the plan they have
what is wrong with them-expecting to hear nothing meticulously discussed ahead of time. They suggest
back. But someone at last says: using our remaining class time to create a political
Nothing, Prof. student organization. To stop talking about the
Nothing? problem, one of them says, and start doing something
Nothing. We just want to tell you something, about it. I sit down and pay attention.
another says. Their idea is simple and brilliant: if the immigration
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to their apathy or my want of better teaching skills. for all children, no matter their nationality or
And I think I may have been right this time not to immigration status. Every child living in u.s. territory
judge them or myself too harshly, too quickly. Midway has this right. But not all children know this, nor do
into the semester, they started to speak up. They their parents necessarily know it. With the large influx
began asking difficult questions and started of new migrant children, many schools in the country
articulating sophisticated opinions. We decided to are overwhelmed, and negligent administrators simply
refer to the class as a "migration think tank" rather push parents back when they call to ask about
than "Spanish conversation." As the weeks passed, one enrollment. Many,: school districts have reacted by
student, who at the beginning of the semester had creating more obstacles for newcomers. One of those
argued that the United States had too many "internal" districts is New York's Nassau County, which has the
problems to deal with the burden of receiving more fifth-largest population of migrant children in the
immigrants, became the most extreme supporter of country. It is also the district where I work. Public
the idea that the immigration of children into the schools in Nassau County have denied entrance to
United States should be conceived of not as a foreign many children based on their lack of appropriate
affairs problem, but as a local concern. immigration papers-something that is by all means
Conscious of my own limitations in the subject an illegal practice. In the summer of the New
matter, I brought in experts to talk to us: immigration York State Education Department held a compliance
lawyers, social workers, activists, and political review and in the end determined that no public
scientists. The semester rolled on, and it seemed to me school was allowed to ask students for immigration
that for once, a class I was giving was not just documents of any type.
following a syllabus but also growing quite naturally But not all schools are complying. For months now,
out of our group's shared concerns and questions. Alina has been trying to find a different school for
Manu. The two girls are not as vulnerable to gang
United States law guarantees free public education coercion, she thinks, provided that they keep to
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Tell me how it ends, Mamma, my daughter asks me.

I don't know.
Tell me what happens next.
Sometimes I make up an ending, a happy one. But
most of the time I just say:
I don't know how it ends yet. COMMUNITY

In my first semester teaching at Hofstra

University, I was assigned a class called,
somewhat blandly, Advanced Conversation.
The only thing I'd been told about the course was that
I needed to speak Spanish with the students. The rest
was up to me. Since I wasn't sure what would get
students to talk, I started talking to them, on day one,
about the undocumented minors immigration crisis­
the only current topic that I knew enough about, and
that seemed inexhaustible and urgent enough to
devote at least a few class meetings to.
During our first encounters the ten students in the
class looked at me silently and with a sort of congealed
bewilderment, which I usually prefer to attribute to
their excess of hormones and lack of sleep rather than
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question: Why did we risk our lives to come to this Up until then, the idea of letting the children travel
country? Why did they come when, as if in some alone with a coyote had been unimaginable-crossing
circular nightmare, they arrive at new schools, in their borders, mounting La Bestia. Suddenly the idea of
new neighborhoods, and find there the very things allowing them to stay in Tegucigalpa became even
they were running from? more unimaginable.
Forty: "Who would take care of you if you were to
Thirty-eight: "What do you think will happen if you return to your home country?" If the answer is no one,
go back home?" Some months later, in a phone the only option you have is to leave and never go back.
interview with Alina in which I am still trying to put Alina contacted the same coyote that brought Manu
some pieces of the story together, she tells me that she to the United States and asked him to bring her
saved up for years to bring her two daughters and daughters over. The older of the two girls is nineteen,